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August 2009

HOLDER TONIGHT - Humour Poll - August 2009
Signs That You Need To Get Out More [272 votes total]

You need to wear sunglasses when you open the fridge (104)
You have names for all your house plants (47)
You spend all day in a robe and a dickie (50)
You don't understand why Michael Jackson hasn't returned your phone calls (51)
Every day you need to order more cat food (20)

Monday, August 3, 2009 -- Marriage Licence

An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they barely made a living. Then, one day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000.

The young man rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back home. He ran across the field, told his father the news, and handed the older man a $50 bill.

The father looked at the money for a moment and then said, "Son, you know I've always been careful with what little money we had. I didn't spend it on whiskey or women. In fact, I couldn't even afford the license to legally marry your Ma."

"Pa!" the young man stammered, "do you know what that makes me?"

"Yep," said the old man fingering the $50, "And a cheap one, too."

(Thanks to Percy)

Tuesday, August 4, 2009 -- Viagra

A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist. She asked, "Do you have Viagra?"

"Yes," he answered.

She asked, "Does it work?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Can you get it over the counter?" she asked.

"I can if I take two," he answered.

(Thanks to JP)

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